Nicole vs. Life
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
And then he peed in my hair
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