cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Don't tell me you're on acid again
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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