Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
