At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
