i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
