I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
