She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
