Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
