Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
