I'm really into asian looking animals
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
