i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
