i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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