She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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