If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
worst night to have a conscience
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
