Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
