I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
