Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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