mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
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it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
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Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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