Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
