wakey wakey hands off snakey
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
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