I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize