Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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