Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
