So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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