I'm drive I can fine osifer
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.