Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
