so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I think I sprained my soul last night
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
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