AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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