Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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