why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
