Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
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