I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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