haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
