Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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