What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
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