Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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