cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Is this like a preordered booty call?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
