I can tuck mytits in my pants
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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