you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
