He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
