Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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