i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
