Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
