There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Randomize
