Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
