i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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