i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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