WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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