don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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