what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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