You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
