You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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