cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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