I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
