So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
