Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
