somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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