absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize