This is not my ceiling
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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