god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
